Insanity- Letter to my Brain

I only wanted you to stay,

to hold me together in my moments grey.

I never thought you would abandon me this way,

and leave me alone, shivering and frail.

You were a part of me and I,

thought you would fight against the skies

for me and me alone,

until you turned against me my very own.

You built up the armies in pursuit of harm,

you opened fire while I was completely unarmed.

You made me believe all that I was not,

and kept making the string of my life full of knots.

I can't blame you for your actions though,

they told me how you get out of control.

It's just that I find it hard to accept,

that it was you out of everyone, I really didn't expect.

This is all my fault, I guess,

you've defeated me in our little game of chess.

Oh, how I wish I could turn this around.

My dear brain, you've made this a playground.

I've tried very hard to resist,

but now the game is on, you and I cannot coexist.

For every time you make me sad,

I'll dig a hole in this pad.

I'll let all the red flow,

and teach you how to harm like a pro.

You think you can stop me from being at peace?

Oh my dear brain, you just wait and see.

~Khyati

Unsettled

Why is this night so unsettling?

Why are the stars not twinkling?

Why is it so important

to ponder on things not potent?

Why can't the eyes just shut,

instead of listening to the gut?

Why can't I sleep?

Is this a cue to weep?

Why do I feel this way,

as if I don't have a say?

And whatever happens next,

can't be controlled by mere texts.

Is this a premonition,

or just overthinking and exaggeration?

Is it time yet to settle?

Or is there more in tonight's kettle?

~Khyati

You came to me

You came to me when I was most vulnerable,

like a hero, your entry was quite appreciable.

You came as a soft glow of light

that grew and grew and felt so right!

You took me by my hand and we flew.

It was a roller coaster that went as deep as the ocean blue,

and as high as the roads to heaven.

Yet as I try to remember your face, it comes to my mind misshapen.

Maybe it's because you kept changing form,

or because you were never the same from

the last I met you,

and still, I would always await you.

It was never out of love or hate,

but simply because you opened my mind's gates.

You examined it freely and I was at your disposal,

you made me say "yes" to your every proposal.

You made me feel what I thought was not possible,

you made me weak and as useless as a crumpled paper, toss-able.

In one moment it was sheer bliss, and in another I was exhausted,

in yet another I was terrified and trapped and then as cold as an icicle, frosted.

You killed me quite a lot of times,

yet I embraced you with open arms the next time.

On the nights you didn't visit,

every little sound made me go, "is it..?"

I would never blame you for whatever you did to me,

but surely you knew how it felt to be in place of me.

I have never seen anyone quite like you yet,

though you would've hundreds like me met.

I know you would haunt me for the rest of my life,

it's your job after all, being so sweet and then stab a knife.

What bothers me the most is, though,

that I was the one who made your soul.

Should I be held guilty of this crime?

But is this fault really mine?

All good things need a bad companion, right?

Otherwise, how will they become good in everyone's sight?

Tonight again as I wait for you to come to me,

I wonder if this is what was thought by Almighty,

when busy creating uncontrollably,

this world so mysterious, or was it all unknowingly?

Because surely there is more yin than yang,

and all of a sudden my thoughts are interrupted by your entry with a bang!

~Khyati